≡ Menu

solve your problemsCan a life coach solve your problems?

No, not in my experience.

What a good life coach can do is help you solve your own problems, more easily and faster than if you work only by yourself.

When you think about it that only makes sense. After all, while I may be able to shed some light and help you discover your own solutions, I can’t actually make changes for you. I could try to force or trick you into a decision, but we both know that won’t work for long. So I don’t.

All sorts of problem solving

As a life coach people have presented all sorts of problems to me, often ex[explaining how stuck they feel. Maybe they wanted a new career, or wondered if they should start a business. Perhaps they knew their relationships with people could be improved but they weren’t sure how – or maybe they knew how in theory, but weren’t quite sure how to put that into action. Sometimes they’re facing major life decisions and don’t know how to make a choice. Or they know the choice they wanted to make but are afraid to make it.

And there are lots of smaller problems that crop up – like how honest to be in which situations, or admitting keeping the old car seems preferable to finding a new one.

Some of these smaller conundrums may be indicative of larger, un-examined issues. Of course, they may also be the mundane stuff of life.

So what can a coach do for you?

Generally speaking a life coach can do three basic things to help  you solve your problems:

Listen deeply and with compassion

The best coaches are trained in what some call deep listening. Deep listening allows a certain kind of silence; it’s a whole body listening that is heard by both the listener and the one who is listened to.

Deep listening is compassionate, yes, but more than that it creates a space that allows an often unrecognized truth to service.

Such listening can lead to the best kinds of questions – those that lead both parties into a deeper resonance.

Increase choices

In the space co-created by deep listening, new choices and new options often surface. What was once obscure, looks clearer. New ideas entirely may be generated.

As the session continues, perhaps with some additional questions and conversation the whole issue becomes clarified – if not totally, the sense of having more options than one realized is liberating and sometimes exhilarating.

Increasing options also includes the option to say ‘no.’ It’s okay to say ‘no’ even if you’ve already committed. Following your intuition and examining the pros and cons of following through or not following through is something good coaches will help you do without imposing their standards.

Better choices is often a reflection of you getting clear about your own Vision and standards.

Provide accountability

We all love the idea we’re accountable to ourselves and others. You know, that we do what we say we will do unless we consciously decide not to.

It’s one thing to be accountable to ourselves, and quite another when someone else holds us accountable. Holding space for someone else’s accountability is one of a life coaches most helpful skills when guiding you to solve your problems.

It’s not just a matter of ticking off done or not done during your next session. Nor is it only about urging you to figure out why you didn’t do what you promised.

More helpful is to help you look at both what worked and what didn’t. One can often inform the other and the result is you get more choices and become better at making decisions that truly support you.

Life coaching is really a partnership between you and your coach. If it’s group coaching you’re to some degree in partnership with the other coachees as well as with the coach.

As with many things in life, a major portion of the problem solving comes as you and your coach work together.

Does this sound like what you’d like to experience in life coaching? Feel free to say yea or nay in comments and to ask questions there.

Love, blessings and abundance,

life coach

 

{ 0 comments }

Good Life CoachingSometimes Life Coaching seems mysterious.

As a Life Coach I know when a session with a client goes well. It took me awhile to begin to understand exactly is needed from both parties for a successful Life Coaching session.

Actually both the coach and the client bring a great deal to the table when the session is working as it should. Let me chunk it down as I understand it.

Good Life Coaching equals trust between both parties

For good, successful Life Coaching to happen the coach and the client have to have mutual respect for each other that leads to trusting each other. How this happens doesn’t seem to matter. Some of the clients I’ve worked with I’ve known for years and others for only moments. Either way or something in between and when we’re lucky or work at it, trust happens. [click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

There is an important difference between life coaching and therapy or a counseling.

First, before I go on, let me be clear. I am not a therapist, or a psychologist, nor am I a psycho-therapist or a counselor and I don’t play one on TV or anywhere else.

Biggest difference between therapy and coaching

The biggest difference, or maybe the most obvious, is that Life Coaches are NOT health care professionals or provider.

That means the focus is different. [click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

gift coaching sessionYes, like many, I offer a no-obligation Gift Coaching session to potential clients. I started this on the advice of my mentor – first as a way to practice coaching, then as a marketing method.

While both of those reasons are certainly valid, the Gift Coaching session turns out to do more, including:

  • Giving you a taste of how I coach.
  • Letting me know if I can truly be of service to you.
  • Helping both of us figure out if working together makes sense.

If you’ve looked for Life and other coaches on the web, you’ll see that many of them make the same offer, more or less. Each of us does it a little differently. I think of the Gift Coaching session as a trial run – for both of us.

What happens in a Gift Coaching session?

What we have to do is find a mutual hour we can spend together on the phone. Prior to the call I’ll send you by snail mail you some details and instructions on how to pick one issue, or problem, or… that if we together could come up with a solution would make a big difference in your life.

I like to schedule the session far enough in advance so I have time to get a physical Gift Coaching letter to you.

You’ll call me at the time we agreed.

After hellos, I’ll ask you what you’d like to talk about that would make a positive difference in your life; you’ll outline the topic if you’ve come up with one. If you haven’t picked a subject, we’ll figure it out together.

Another thing I love to ask close to the beginning our our session is for a three or four minute life history of yourself. This helps me get a real sense of where you are in your life and a picture of how you got there.

With those preliminaries in hand, I’ll usually ask you more questions.

Since I know you’re the expert on your own life, my questions are really designed to help you figure it out drawing on your own wisdom and experience. I find that much more effective than to have you look to me to provide solutions. I’m a catalyst who can often help you see the problem or issue in a new light or a new way. That new way of seeing it also tends to show solutions that hadn’t occurred to you yet.

At the end of our session, if it went well, I’ll describe how we might work together in the future.

Make sense? Great – call me at 610 434 6110 or fill out the form on the right.

And, if you haven’t yet read What happens in a Gift Coaching session, you may want to now.

Love and blessings,

Anne Wayman Life Coach

{ 0 comments }